Families Separating: The Good and The Bad

Stepping Down for Family

Arguably, one of the greatest tennis players of all-time, Rafael Nadal, has been trained by the same coach when he was just three years old to now at age 30. That man is his uncle Toni Nadal who confirmed on Tuesday that he will be stepping down as Rafael’s primary coach.

The New York Times reported that it was Uncle Toni who suggested young Rafael play tennis with his left hand, even though he was right-handed, and told him to play forehand with one hand instead of two. He developed a young tennis player from the ground up, eventually evolving into one of the elite, which is inspiring to see how 27 years of dedication paid off.

Rafael Nadal, left, with his uncle Toni Nadal
Roberto Schmidt/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

In a phone interview with the New York Times’ Christopher Clarey, Toni said:

“It’s been 27 years now with Rafael and tennis. I remember when he was 3, and at the beginning we played a few times, and he liked it. But as he liked soccer much more, he stopped playing tennis for a while before coming back to it. I always had the belief when Rafael was small that he could be a very good player. But I could never have imagined all that he would do in tennis.”

Toni made the decision to step down as Rafael’s coach because he wants to dedicate more time to his wife and children, which I find encouraging that even on a large scale such as world tennis, a husband’s number priority is still his family. He will also spend time at the Rafa Nadal Academy developing young talent, which judging by his success with Rafael, these students of the game are in for a world of success.

Rafael made an astounding run to the final of the Australian Open on Sunday, January 27, but fell to Roger Federer in five sets. Just as Toni has been Rafael’s number one supporter during his entire career, Toni was seated in the players’ box supporting his nephew in Australia.

Family Feud

Bad blood is what the New York Knicks are dealing with in the situation between owner, James L. Dolan, and retired star player, Charles Oakley. A little over a week ago, on February 8, Oakley was ejected from Madison Square Garden and arrested after getting in a physical altercation with security guards.

Just two days later, on Feb. 10, Madison Square Garden banned Oakley from the arena. Three days later, on Monday, Feb. 13, NBA commissioner, Adam Silver, met with Dolan and Oakley, which led to the Knicks lifting the ban. Dolan offered an apologize to Oakley, but Oakley declined, also saying he would not accept any invitations to attend a Knicks game.

Charles Oakley in 2011.
Chuck Burton/Associated Press

James L. Dolan, the Knicks owner
Ben Solomon for the New York Times

“I want to have a press conference, and I want him to apologize to me and the fans,” Oakley said. “There’s a swimming pool full of water; it takes a while when you drain it.”

With a beat that is focusing on how a sports team is similar to a family, and learning in my research just how important building a family dynamic is, I can’t help but look at this situation with my beat in mind. 

A misbehaving child in Charles Oakley, is not allowed to go back home at Madison Square Garden because a father-figure, James L. Dolan, says he is not allowed. In steps, a grandfather, Adam Silver, to restore peace. We’ll have to wait and see how this family will continue to manage all the drama.

Building a Family on the Diamond

Alexander Central High School in Taylorsville, North Carolina, is the home of two experienced coaches, Darrell Adkins and Pete Hardee, that value the idea of their respective teams being a family.

The head softball coach at ACHS, Adkins, has been coaching in the Alexander County school system since 1996 at the middle school and high school level. Hardee is the head baseball coach at ACHS, and prior to coaching at Alexander, he coached at West Caldwell from 1989 to 1993, then New Bern from 1993 to 1995, before spending 20 seasons as the head coach at Watauga High School in Boone.

Alexander Central head baseball coach, Pete Hardee
Credit: D.N. Pennell, Jr. with the Taylorsville Times

Alexander Central head softball coach, Darrell Adkins
Credit: D.N. Pennell, Jr. with the Taylorsville Times

“My baseball team is a family and we have to stick together,” Hardee said. “Outside people will judge us, cheer for us, and boo us, but we have to stay together. We have to sacrifice for each other.”

Both Adkins and Hardee were hired on in 2015 and are only in their second seasons at Alexander, yet both already embrace the idea of their teams being a family and emphasize just how important that concept can be.

“I do believe our softball team is a family,” said Adkins. “We spend approximately 3 to 4 hours per day together practicing, working, and playing games. We learn things about each other, things we like and things we don’t like, and we care about each other.”

Both coaches have spent time in a dual role as both a coach to their players and a parent to their respective children over their combined 49 years in a coaching role. For Adkins, there are similar attributes of his parenting that he also uses in coaching.

“Care, love, discipline, and respect are the main components instilled in [my] family values and our softball team beliefs,” said Adkins.

As a parent, Hardee was able to care and appreciate his players more as someone else’s son, for while he disciplines and encourages them on the diamond, they are treated likewise by their parents or guardians at home.

Hardee believes that developing his athletes into better baseball players is essential to their success over one season, but also hopes to mature them into people that will be successful beyond baseball.

“I try to teach my players how to be men, the head of their household,” Hardee said. “Good leaders, providers, and supporters.”

Before coaching, Hardee pitched at Appalachian State University from 1981 to 1984 earning Division I All-American honors in 1984 with a 12-1 record and a meager 1.07 ERA. In 2007, he was inducted into the Appalachian State Athletics Hall of Fame. He was coached by the winningest coach in Mountaineer history, Jim Morris, also an App State Hall of Famer, who won 611 games over his 25 years at Appalachian.

Pete Hardee during his Appalachian State days
Credit: Appalachian State Strategic Communications

Even though it’s been over 30 years since Hardee’s last season at Appalachian, Morris’ influence left a lasting impact on Hardee’s life beyond the game of baseball, just as Hardee hopes to provide guidance to his players in life.

“Coach Morris treated me like family,” Hardee said. “He was hard on me, but he cared about me. He is proud of me, which means the world to me.”

It’s made evident that building a team into a family can result in success on the field by how both Adkins and Hardee led their respective teams in 2016.

Adkins, in his first season as head coach, led the softball team to a 25-5 overall record and 12-2 conference record. Similarly, the baseball team posted a 13-11 regular season record and a 10-4 conference record in Hardee’s first season.

Alexander Central baseball is set to kick off its 2017 campaign as it hosts a scrimmage against Hickory High School on February 22, while ACHS softball heads to Forbush High School for a weekend scrimmage on February 28.

Family over everything, including sports

Throughout sports history, there have been quite a few professional sports siblings:

Serena and Venus Williams

Peyton and Eli Manning
Jim and John Harbaugh
Reggie and Cheryl Miller

Let’s add one more to that mix: Marc and Alex Márquez.

Marc and Alex, 23 and 20, respectively, have had their fair share of championships in motocross, just as the siblings listed above, but unlike their older counterparts, the brothers head home to mom and dad in the off-season.

Marc Márquez leading a MotoGp race in 2016.
Jens Meyer/Associated Press

Raphael Minder of the New York Times ran an article about just how successful the Márquez brothers are and explained why two of the best in motocross still head home to their parents.

It’s an eye-opening article because we’ve all been exposed to other sibling success stories in sports, but not many people have heard of these guys. I also find it inspiring that even though Marc alone earned $11 million a year the past two seasons and could easily spend the winter in a luxurious hotel, he and his brother dedicate their time in the off-season to the very people that gave them life.

Marc Márquez fixing a tire with his brother, Alex, in the garage of their home in Cervera
Samuel Aranda for the New York Times

“I understand others might want to spend the winter in a place like the Maldives, but this is where I have always been and still really want to be,” Marc Márquez said. “Of course my life is not exactly what it used to be, but if you look at my entourage — my family, friends and manager — the change has been zero. And here I can also train with my best friend, my brother.”

In another article, Roman Zozulya, a Ukrainian football striker that plays Spanish professional football, withdrew from a loan that was sending him to play for Rayo Vallecano.

Last year, a Spanish newspaper falsely reported that Zozulya was wearing the shirt of a far-right paramilitary group, which was removed. Angry Rayo fans expressed their disbelief that it was false and disapproval of Zozulya with signs saying he was “not welcome” and a banner that said Rayo was “not a place for Nazis.”

Zozulya made the decision for the safety of his family, which were still living in the city of his previous club, La Liga.

Roman Zozulya
Credit: ESPN FC

“Football is my life, but if I have to choose between football and my family than my choice is pretty obvious...Right now we are in Seville, in safety. And I feel we have the backing of the press and people here," Zozulya told the New York Times.

There are reports that this could cost Zozulya a spot on the Ukraine national team, but it's obvious that family is far more important than football in his eyes. It is upsetting to hear that his family was in danger, but for him to chose their safety over football makes him a true family man.

Sibling Dedication > Sibling Rivalry

The greatest sibling story in the history of sports belongs to the Williams sisters, Serena and Venus. January 28 the sisters faced off in the Australian Open final, which was the twelfth final the two battled against each other.

Victor Mather and Nailia-Jean Meyers of the New York Times ran an article that covered the last eight final matches between Serena and Venus from 2001 to 2009. Since 2001, Serena has won 22 Grand Slam singles, while Venus has only won six, and Serena won six out of the eight matches between them, so the title headlined that Venus was a “distinct underdog” of the 2017 rematch.

Venus embraces Serena following the 2017 Australian Open final.

Credit: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

After Venus defeated her younger sister to claim the 2001 U.S. Open, she said, “I always want Serena to win. It’s strange. I’m the bigger sister. I’m the one who takes care of her. I make sure she has everything even if I don’t. I love her. It’s hard.”

The competition and respect in the relationship between the Williams sisters shows that even on the greatest stage of tennis, family is still important.

“There’s no way I would have anything without [Venus]. She’s my inspiration. She’s the only reason I’m standing here today, and the only reason that the Williams sisters exist,” said Serena during the post-game ceremony. “So thank you, Venus, for inspiring me to be the best player I could be and inspiring me to work hard. Every time you won this week, I felt like I’ve got to win, too.”

Serena went on to win the 2017 rematch and both sisters credited how important having their sister’s support has been to their success over the years. 

“Congratulations, Serena, on No. 23,” Venus said. “Your win has always been my win. I think you know that. And all the times I couldn’t be there, wouldn’t be there, didn’t get there, you were there. I’m enormously proud of you. You mean the world to me.”

Similarly, writer Ellen Umansky highlights how her parents’ divorce brought her closer to her brother. In her article, The Secret to Sibling Success, Umansky mentioned a young mother that asked her brother, Eric, how the siblings are so close even at an older age. Jokingly, Eric said, “You and your husband should separate, then go through an ugly divorce. That’ll bring your kids together.”

Sports and tragedies have a lot in common in how they can easily tear apart a family over a loss or miscommunication, or they can strengthen the relationships exponentially through dedication and teamwork.

App State grad and coach on the importance of family and sports

Sarah Willadsen has played volleyball since 5th grade, received offers to play collegiately, and eventually chose to come to Appalachian State to play club volleyball. Now, the circle of sports life has turned her into a coach as she begins her first season coaching the Club Synergy 17U Zonals, a travel volleyball team based out of Boone, North Carolina.

During Willadsen’s playing days, having support from her family left a positive impact on her ability to play, even though her parents had to divide their time between multiple children playing multiple sports.

“I loved when my parents and brothers came to watch me play because it said to me that they cared,” said Willadsen, an Appalachian State graduate of December 2016. “My mom grew up playing volleyball and very rarely missed any [of my] games, so that was special to be able to share that passion with her.”

Sarah Willadsen (front row, white jersey) with the
2015 Appalachian State club volleyball team

Even as a first-time coach, Willadsen understands how interaction with her athletes can directly influence how they perform well, not just as a team, but as a family.

“The more I interact with them, especially in one-on-one settings, the better I am getting to know who they are as a person and as a volleyball player,” said Willadsen. “For the other coach and myself, we are the authority figures, aka parents sometimes, who care for the girls, but also need to be respected and listened to as we coach them.”

Establishing a relationship as teammates during practice and games is important, but Willadsen stresses how bonding away from the court is valuable to form better team chemistry.

As she spent her playing days as a libero and a defensive specialist, Willadsen said that she finds it easier to interact with members of Club Synergy who play the same positions as she once did.

The 17U Zonals have only competed in two tournaments in their young season, but Willadsen already notices how important family support is to her athletes, just as it was important to her.

“Most of [the players] want their parents to be there and they, in turn, play better,” said Willadsen. “They play better when their parents are invested, encouraging them, and also yelling at them to be more aggressive, go for balls, etc. The other coach and I are closer to their age, but there's definitely a feel of wanting to impress both us and the parents.” 

Willadsen can also see the different kind of relationships parents have with their children.

“A few of the moms especially have a little bit of a teenage mind, and I have seen them gossip with their daughters about other players on the team,” said Willadsen. “One girl in particular has more of a broken family and she is one that sometimes needs extra attention.”

The Club Synergy 17U Zonals are members of the Club Synergy Junior National Volleyball Club and are made up of mostly Watauga High School players. They compete in tournaments in western North Carolina and eastern Tennessee and have three more tournaments left on their schedule including the K2 Wilderness Challenge starting February 11 in Sevierville, Tennessee.